Mayonnaise - The Condiment You Love to Hate

I want to hate you, mayonnaise, really I do. You are pure fat. Sometimes when I see you in a gallon jar, or worse, a five-gallon bucket, it makes me a little sick. But then you show up on a BLT and you're quite tasty. But on a turkey sandwich, yeah, you're pretty gross. Corned beef, yeah, you're pretty disgusting on a corned beef sandwich too. But if you add a little horseradish to yourself, wow, you're pretty tasty on a roast beef sandwich.

How is it possible to hate you, mayonnaise, when you are the binding in potato salad, tuna salad and chicken salad. You try to disguise yourself as remoulade and tartar sauce and let me say you've done a nice job with your costume. Remoulade is practically required with crab cakes and fish and chips with OUT tartar sauce, that would be blasphemy. Even aioli, a close cousin of yours, is delicious on paninis and French fries. You're even pretty tasty on French fries all by yourself. But let's be honest, remoulade and aioli are just you, mayonnaise, dressed up for the Prom.

Sure, you clog arteries, probably cause heart disease, certainly add to the obesity epidemic, and to that I'm sure you say loudly, "EAT ME IN MODERATION! And please, don't put me on a salami sandwich, that's what mustard is for."

Happy Thanksgiving!

Another Thanksgiving is in the books. Wine, beer, and cranberry-ginger cocktails. Turkey, stuffing, and cranberry sauce. Potatoes, squash, and Brussels sprouts. Spinach salad with strawberries and a wild rice salad. Homemade cinnamon buns and apple pie, store-bought triple chocolate cake and carrot cake. Espresso, coffee, and Kahlua. With the family all here, it was a great day. Dad carved the turkey and we ate ourselves full. I hope you all enjoyed your day as much as we did here in Chez One Food Guy.

Thank you for being a guest in my virtual kitchen. Cheers!

Mr. T says Brine your Turkey

Don't be a fool, brine your turkey! I wrote about brining turkeys a couple years ago in the infancy of this here blog. With just a few more readers now, it's time to revisit the topic. So ladies and gentlemen listen up, if you want a delicious, moist, wow-your-guests turkey, then you MUST MUST MUST brine! The basics: brine is a salt water solution. Wikipedia has this to say about brining:

Brining makes cooked meat moister by hydrating the cells of its muscle tissue before cooking, via the process of osmosis, and by allowing the cells to hold on to the water while they are cooked, via the process of denaturation.

Look, all I know is that brining is the only way to a truly delicious, juicy turkey. I used to use a brine recipe from Wolfgang Puck, but this year I'm going with a recipe adapted from Grill 23 chef Jay Murray here in Boston. My wife J clipped the recipe out of Boston Magazine for me and it looks too good to turn pass up. Here is the recipe, reproduced without permission:

Turkey Brine
Adapted from Grill 23 chef Jay Murray

10 qt. water
2 1/2 c. kosher salt
2 c. maple syrup
20 cloves garlic
3 oranges, halved
5 bay leaves
1/4 c. mixed peppercorns
1/4 c. coriander seeds
2 tbsp. smoked paprika
6 sprigs fresh rosemary

1. In large pot over high heat, combine water, salt, maple syrup, and garlic. Squeeze orange halves to extract juice; add juice and fruit to brine. Add spices and herbs.
2. Boil mixture five minutes. Remove from heat, let cool to room temperature, then chill at least two hours before adding turkey.
3. Brine meat in refrigerator for at least eight hours and up to 12.
4. Drain, dry completely, then roast according to recipe of choice

If you're like me and don't have the patience for the cooling and chilling part of the brine process, follow this simple tip I picked up from my good friend at the Food Network, Alton Brown. He shared this amazing tip with me a few months ago: make the brine with half the water called for and once the salt is dissolved, take the brine off the heat and add the remaining water as ice . Five pounds of ice will melt into 4 quarts of water, also known as one gallon of water. The ice will instantly cool the solution. Now give that turkey a bath and have a happy Thanksgiving!

I pity the fool who doesn't brine their turkey!

My new least favorite candy...

One of my friends brought this Finnish hard candy licorice into our office today; it's called Tyrkisk Peber which is Danish for Turkish Pepper. The candy used to be produced in Denmark but the candy maker, Perelly, was bought out by the Finnish company Fazer. The candy is flavored with ammonium chloride and pepper. For the record ammonium choloride, among other things, is used to clean the tips of soldering irons and used in solder as flux - and they put this in candy!?

In my humble opinion, it was disgusting! Honestly, this candy made me nauseous. Apparently this candy is extremely popular in Scandanavia - haven't they ever heard of Twizzlers?! I got rid of the taste by eating a piece of Lindt dark chocolate and drinking a pint of water!

Homemade Turkey Burgers

I will never buy another box of frozen turkey burgers! Upon the suggestion of the meat counter guy at my local market, I tried the frozen turkey burgers available in the freezer case. He said, "we sell a ton of them, I assume they're good." Well they weren't! They were thin, dry, and actually tasted a bit like cardboard! I vowed never to buy frozen turkey burgers again, especially after coming up with this great homemade turkey burger recipe!

These turkey burgers are so simple to make and so full of flavor, you will NEVER want to buy frozen turkey burgers again. In the time it takes my charcoal grill to fully light, these burgers are made and ready to go on the fire. For four good sized burgers, pick up a 1/2 pound of ground white meat turkey and a 1/2 pound of ground dark meat turkey. Grab a bunch of scallions, some fresh Italian parsley, and some Montreal steak seasoning if you don't have any at home. I also add in some dried oregano and cayenne pepper so if you don't have it in your cupboard, pick some of that up as well.

While your grill is heating up, or your charcoal is catching fire (these burgers could also be cooked in a grill pan on the stove top if you don't have a grill,) mix the two types of turkey, three sliced scallions, a couple tablespoons of chopped parsley, a tablespoon or so of montreal steak seasoning, some dried oregano, and some cayenne, salt and pepper to taste. Form the mixture into three or four equally sized patties, and when your grill is ready, fire these burgers until just cooked through.

I serve my turkey burgers on toasted whole wheat sesame seed buns slathered with dijon mustard and topped with avocado and tomato. A nice salad of field greens and fresh herbs tossed with some balsamic and extra virgin olive oil is a nice accompaniment for the burger. Use up the rest of the tomato and avocado on the salad and you've got yourself a quick, simple, and very inexpensive dinner!

Happy Thanksgiving!

It's that time of year again. Turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce; friends, family, and high school football. We're talking Thanksgiving and for a foodie it's the holy grail of holidays.

I'd like to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving and hope that wherever you are spending the holiday, you arrive safely. I'm spending the holiday at my parents house, and after will, in my annual tradition, stop in to my friend's home for some of his Mom's magical stuffing; it most definitely clogs arteries, and is made with Ritz crackers. A Google search for "ritz cracker stuffing" will undoubtedly produce many delicious sounding recipes as well as many more pictures, but I promise you, not one of them is what comes out of my friend's Mom's kitchen. If I can manage to wrestle the recipe from her this year, I've failed in the past, I'll give it a go in my kitchen and share it with all of you. It's just too good to be kept secret. Happy Thanksgiving!